The Epic Newark Experience

I am writing this from the Sky Club in Newark Airport, where I have been for five hours so far...  and appear doomed to remain for several more hours.  Flights have been canceled right and left, and the club has slowly emptied out from its original nearly Bangkok Street Market feel, and now there's just us survivors, huddled around the few AC outlets, making sure our lifelines to the outside world remain fully charged.

My flight has slid steadily later, and at this moment, I'm looking at a 1am departure, delayed a full 7 hours from its original time.  I am fortunate that I have few commitments on Friday, other than the need to leave for Las Vegas on a 2pm flight for a bachelor party...  I am nonetheless grateful to my Amex Platinum which has given me access to this haven:  I briefly ventured out into the larger terminal to find some "real food" (a bagel and a naked juice) and it was pretty grim out there.

If this was happening even 24 hours earlier, I suspect this would be throwing me into a crisis, wondering why the hell I'm doing this line of work.  I have had a string of unsatisfying engagements recently, where I've felt a lot like the "consultant outsider" who is paid to give advice that nobody pays attention to.

It came to a head with a client where I sat them down and told them straight out:  "I am making plans that nobody is following, there is no adherence to the scope of the project, nobody is holding to the schedule:  I am not able to manage this project.  At this point, the only thing I think I'm bringing to the project is our weekly status meetings where we commiserate about how badly things are going."  Their reply was "yes... but we still see some value in that."

It threw me into a little bit of a work crisis - with me wondering if I'm bringing ANY value in the world:  My meetings in New York City were of a similar flavor - we're the third group of "Strategic Consultants" this group has employed in the past 2 years, and more than one interviewee tolerated my questions before saying "well, this will just be put on the shelf with the other plans, won't it?"

I parted ways with my local "anchor" client in Minneapolis, and now have nowhere where I'm expected to be:  For the past 18 months, I could always just drive to that client and park myself at a desk, walking around, checking in on things...   maybe it wasn't always productive work, but it was them paying me to be there.  But on the last day of my tenure there, I was reminded of how little they thought of us consultants - the small but private workspace I had carved out for myself (they never ever gave me a cube, of heavens no) was taken apart and I was moved to a "war room" with 20 other contractors.  Just for one day.

Now, I have the same amount of work to do (the other clients definitely keep it coming), but just the home office to do it in, and I'm not sure I'm managing my time appropriately...   I need to be a little more disciplined.  But it's hard because we're also in the middle of a MAJOR home purge/reorganization, and I'm very excited about the changes we're going through... coupled with some major guilt and horror at the piles of books, DVDs, and random electronics that I've somehow accumulated.  We have sold, given away, and thrown away at least a full dumpster of stuff, and as I walk through the house, I don't miss a single thing.  But I am happy to have this space back, and am resolved to be a lot more intentional about what comes IN the house now.

My meetings in New Jersey today were a boost, however.  My input was valued, I got some good next steps identified.  I'm feeling valued again (at work - at home I always feel loved - FOR REALSIES)  And hey, my time in the Club has let me catch up on a few things I'd been putting off.   Like this Blog.