An interesting evening

One of the wonders of having kids out there in the world is the people they choose to care about.  To be sure, Isaac has bonded with classmates, but so far, Bella has impressed us with her ability to "collect" unique people who have good hearts.  She's had a few people come through who like her energy, but guard it with strange jealousy (and drive us a little nuts) - but Bella's been pretty good about identifying that and de-escalating with them.  She's a gal who likes nice people.

In the past few years, her best friends have included the most effeminate boy in the universe, a Japanese girl, a big guy with speech impediment and a wild imagination, a gangly boy with Aspergers, a tall sporty girl with a penchant for surreal anecdotes, a sweet Pakistani girl whose dad runs a convenience store, and of course, her synchronized swimming pals.  Seriously, these kids should be out solving crimes.  They're the most hilariously diverse group I can imagine.  They're all dreamers, and they make each other laugh.

So this year, fourth grade, we started hearing about a new classmate, Amal.  Bella just loved her, and they sat together at lunch a lot.  We learned Amal is a muslim with Somali parents - she wears the hijab and is learning arabic and how to read the Koran.  She's also extremely giggly.

When Bella had her very small birthday party, Amal was one of four people on the guest list.  When she arrived at the birthday party, a little late, she bolted from the car and caught up with the rest of the gang who were up the block on a scavenger hunt.  (later that night, when I asked Bella what her favorite part of her party was, she said that it was Amal hustling up the street toward them).  I was left with her mom, Faduma, who had "just a few things" for the party.

She popped her trunk, and pulled out a party platter of two dozen cookies, a decorated sheet cake, and an enormous homemade pineapple upside down cake.  Also a card with a very generous gift inside - far more than Bella needed.  I tried to beg it off, and Faduma said "Bella is a good friend to Amal, and so she is like a daughter to me."(Bella, by the way, decided to donate part of the large gift to the humane society, which is SO Bella)

Amal had a great time at the party, very interested in our dogs (she's both allergic to most dogs, and her culture doesn't keep dogs as pets), and in the middle of a lot of mayhem:  When she left for home, her black hijab was liberally smeared with bright pink frosting from Bella's cake.  She had a mile wide smile.

The next day I got a call from Faduma:  She wanted to thank us for having Amal over, and asked us to dinner the next week.  Also, she wanted to take Bella out for the afternoon with her and Amal.  All week we wondered - what would this be like?  Pamela and I looked up Somali customs, I learned a few words to be polite...

Bella was picked up for a little shopping adventure at JC Penny, and we went over to the house a couple of hours later:  The dad, Mohammed, met us - the girls weren't back yet, but we sat and talked.  They had a sparsely furnished apartment right in the city limits so the kids would have access to the Edina schools.  The girls showed up a little late, with bags in hand - yes, Faduma had decided to buy Bella a winter jacket.  Way too kind.

For the next 3 hours, Isaac roughhoused with the two boys (in 1st and 6th grades), Bella was right there with them and Amal, and Pamela and I had an evening talking with Amal's parents - they were eager to share their stories, about how he left Somalia just 3 days before the civil war broke out (he had "a bad feeling"), how he left Faduma, but sent for her a few years later, how they've moved many times, how Faduma had to learn to drive in MN weather...

They have a youngest daughter who is on the spectrum for Autism:  She is willful, shrieks, but also sweet.  We watched as she processed a plate of fruits and vegetables into tiny cubes, and arranged into a colorful pile, then ran off.  She has her own language, which the kids all understand.  And throughout, the parents were patient and loving, and Pamela and I just marveled at their calmness with the storm all around (between the wrestling boys and the wild child and the giggling Amal and Bella).

My attempts to speak a little Somali led to a fun discussion with Mohammed (who speaks excellent English, by the way) about language - how he was working at a hotel in Minneapolis where a white man walked up to him and spoke perfect Somali - turns out he is retired CIA, and could peg Mohammed's accent and mannerisms to his exact tribe and city.  He was amazed.

He also was happy about, but also puzzled by the ability for people to get by in the US without learning english...  he said before coming to the US, he spent time in Ethiopia, Kenya, Syria, and Saudi Arabia, and each time, he said he had to learn the local language...   he said "to know the language is to be safe".  He worries about enclaves of people here who may not be safe if they have to leave their circles - he thinks everyone should be able to talk to a doctor, to a lawyer, and to a policeman with confidence.

It's interesting, because they also choose to use Somali as their language of the house... so they have English, Somali, and Arabic as languages in their house.  Well, that just makes me want to keep learning languages...  and now I feel like I want to understand Arabic - it has such beautiful writing.

Amal was very eager to show me her "learner Koran", and her arabic langauge book...  and then ran over with a colorful mat and said "do you know what this is???"  Of course I know about prayer mats - I watch Homeland, after all.

The food was an enormous spread brought in from the Holy Land Deli, and it was all wonderful.  They were very generous with their time and their home, and at the end of the night, I felt very privileged to have been invited over.  As we went home, Isaac said "this has been one of the best days of my life" - his play time with those boys was wonderful, and I think there might just have been a little something about being around a bunch of people who look like him...   I'll ask a few questions about that, but let him share what he wants...

I have the feeling this won't be the last time we get together with this very nice family (I sure hope we see them more).  And I'm grateful to Bella for having the sort of heart that looks right past a hijab, right past the awkwardness of the new kid in school, and makes a friend.  I feel like I have so much to learn from how she approaches some things in life.