Wistful

Yesterday we were cleaning up the house a bit and I went to the iMac to find some music. Scrolling down the list, I found "Missing" by Everything but the Girl - this was their breakout house hit that transformed them from a moody acoustic guitar outfit to a drum and bass experimental duo - Listening to their work from the mid 1980s, and this electronic rebirth in the mid 1990s was something incredible back then.

So I queued up Missing, along with their Walking Wounded album and got cleaning. And a few songs into it, I slowed down and just stopped moving. I started listening to the words, and they are all very sad and about longing - breakup songs, being hurt by someone songs... and yes, I always knew that they were that way - the album is called Walking Wounded for crying out loud. But then it hit me.

This was an album that I listened to a whole lot with Mark Loesch. We both discovered it around the same time in 1996/97, and it was playing in the car when we would drive, and it would be in the cd changer whenever we had an evening together. Listening to this music made me remember evenings at Mark's new house, having wine or martinis, just the four of us (Pamela and Samantha too) with his kids asleep in upstairs, and Isaac and Bella not even ideas yet (come to think of it - Isaac's birthmom must have been as old as Bella is now when we were sitting in that living room in 1997... strange to think of).

The combination of those lyrics of loss with the memory of sharing that music with a man who I still miss every day was a bit too much for me, and I had to turn it off. But the songs still play through my head - "I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain".