And a Clean and Press!

I'm coming out of the closet - it's time to confess that I have been leading a secret life. Yes, in addition to being ordained recently, I've been working on a secret project.

I'm training to be a group fitness instructor.

After 2 years of truly loving exercise, I've been taking more and more steps toward incorporating exercise into my life: When I travel, I always work out in the hotel. When I'm home, you've read about my adventures doing step aerobics in my back yard. When I play with the kiddos, there's a whole lot of lifting and swinging: Both Bella and Isaac are regularly bench pressed - and they love it.

A couple of months back, a visiting instructor at the club took me aside and commented that he hadn't ever seen a student who could do a whole hour of step from memory, which I clearly was doing. He said I should really consider moving up to the podium and training. With that I decided to at least give it a shot...

So for the past weeks I've been working through a group fitness training manual from the American Council on Exercise, and practicing my cueing (again, from memory). Tonight I had an "audition" with Jeannie from Time Out for Fitness (where I work out). It was just the two of us, me on stage with the mic, and she on the floor, ready to do what I told. I did three tracks - a step aerobics track, a heavy weights track, and a shoulder strength one. I was very surprised to actually make it through all three intact. On the step, I actually missed one changeover and had to improvise to get back on the 'right side" so that both sides of the body got an equal workout.

In the end, she told me I'm a natural, and is looking forward to me getting the rest of the training... to start teaching Les Mills Bodypump in the fall (and moving into BodyAttack and Step in the winter). Of course, with everything else in my life (kids, work, ministering), we'll have to see what my commitment can be... but hey I'm already going 3-5 times a week, why not make the most of it?

Just like I'm loving being on the sales side of the business at work, having worked on the "talent" side for so long, I think it'll be fun to look at the other side of fitness - to see the clockwork behind a well functioning class. I love to see all sides of anything I'm doing, so this just feels natural.

So that's my big announcement. I'm out of the closet on this one. Wish me luck!

Quick Quotes

1) The other night, we let Bella zonk out in our bed. Naturally I moved her when it was time for us to go to bed. In the morning, she asked how she got into her bed, and I told her how I moved her... she grumbled "you always move me when I'm fast asleep. You never move me when I'm half asleep. Well, one time you did, back when I was four. But not since then."

So last night we got home late and she and Isaac were asleep in the car: As I carried her upstairs she was fading into awakeness, and when I reached up to close her windowshade, she asked to look for a moment: "That's my star up there, I can see it", and sure enough there was a glowing star on the horizon. "You can close the shade now, daddy. Goodnight."

This morning I told her that I had in fact moved her when she was "half asleep", but she didn't remember any of it. Luckily I did.

2) In Madison, Bella was drifting off to sleep, and asked "Just one more question Daddy: What is the part in your hair FOR?"

3) Isaac knows his animals: The other night we were quizzing him:
What does the Cow say? "MOOOOO"
What does the Cat say? "MEOW!"
What does a DOG say? "WOOF WOOF"
What does an OWL say? "HOW DO YOU DO?"

Stunned, we asked "What? What does an owl say?"
He paused, then said "WHOOOO!"
We're not sure what animal he got mixed up with. "How do you do?"

4) Isaac in the last couple of days has picked up the habit of "buying time" while thinking by saying "ummmmmm....." It is very adorable. Trust me.

Lake Update

We're currently up near Madison at "The Lake" for the annual family reunion. The very quick update:

Isaac did not nap, and instead talked, sang, yelled, and cried nonstop during our 5 hour drive yesterday. Bella, on the other hand, snoozed for quite a bit of it. Shamefully, we briefly had a "favorite child" in our lives. Hours later, once we were at the house and all of the cousins were playing, equilibrium returned.

We took a "party bus" to see Elvis Costello and The Police play in Milwaukee while a fleet of babysitters took control of the brood. Bella immediately bonded with her tween captors. In a joyous turn of events, it happened to coincide with "GermanFest" in the same area, so we started the evening with brats and beer and lederhosen and a cover band playing Billy Joel's "We didn't start the fire" in GERMAN. It was amazing.

The concert was wonderful, and oddly punctual: Elvis Costello launched into Pump it Up at 7:30 PRECISELY. Sting ambled onto the stage to sing "Allison" with the band... and some of the early Attractions were in the band too - Steve Nieve rocking the Vox Continental! The Police were incredible - they were a stripped down 3 piece, no keyboards, using old gear like Moog Taurus pedals and a Roland GR300 guitar synth. Wonderful evening.

After 2 long good encores, it was time to retreat to the party bus, where we were stuck in traffic, moving literally 20 feet in 1 hour. Then there were some detours, and we wound up going through some bad parts of town... we didn't get home until 1, and we were SPENT. Everyone slept in until a luxurious 7:45am.

Now we're at the lake and I've been out waterskiing twice already, once on a Wakeboard, which was pretty darn tough, but fun too. I'm planning to go out one more time this afternoon and try to drop a ski (intentionally). It's remarkable how fun watersports can be when you actually have some muscle strength to pull it off. I flash back to my wheezy twenties and my failures to waterski.... I have a good trophy for the day - a good shinwhack from tumbling over my skis on my last run.

Isaac is the mayor, as usual, but has been a LITTLE subdued today (perhaps still wiped out from his diva performance yesterday)... but the older cousins have really taken to him, just as Bella is in the middle of everything and is always given a special job in the games: All afternoon, a waterballoon fight has raged through the yard, and Bella and the armory guard.

So there's more sunlight and fun to be had... Signing off. Oh yes, I left the Blackberry at home. This is VACATION. ;->

Comfy

Pamela and Bella had gone shopping for back to school clothes, and Bella was holding to her "not fancy" rule, and also picking out clothes based entirely on softness: lots of leggings going on. As she appraised her stack of soft clothes, she proudly told Pamela

"Mom, I'm going to be the comfiest kid in the entire school".

The girl has her priorities right.

I've somehow fallen into a groove at work: Our primary work is in placing consultants who have a specific skillset for implementing Epic healthcare software, and it's been our bread and butter for over 3 years. But before that, we were more general purpose, doing more of whatever is needed. Well, we're starting to get a lot more calls for "different" work - someone needs a centralized database that consolidates the info in 4 systems... or someone needs a new custom tool for reviewing rejected data for patterns...

All of these requests are falling into my lap, and I get to flex my brain and come up with proposed solutions, budgets, and staffing models. In the past week, I've done more Visio work (a business graphics program that's good for process flow and system design) than the previous 6 months, and have had a heck of a lot of fun... The only problem staffing these things - how many bright geeks can I recruit to my cause?

Pamela has been a complete maniac in our gardens: she tore out huge swaths of garden and has reclaimed it for lawn use - these large weedbeds just weren't PRACTICAL. So we have yards and yards of white grow netting across the back of our house. The victory garden is also doing very well: The tomatoes are budding like mad and it's going to be a wild crop. Peppers are growing, the herbs are delicious... it is a good place we've created back there. Now if we could just get the Mosquitoes to move away.

Mister Animal

Sometime in the past two weeks a switch turned on in mister Isaac's brain and he is a boy who throws things and hits with regularity (whereas it was sporadic before). We've all had books, food, balls, utensils, and shoes flung at us, with varying degrees of accuracy, and no amount of "NO" seems to dissuade him. It's a challenge for sure.... because he's still so sweet (with that impish grin), but his new tendencies have made household peace a distant memory as Bella shrieks as the aggrieved party. Ah good times.

But at the same time, he's deigning to join us for more eating of real food (he shares his sister's love for Chipotle), he's sleeping through the night more regularly, and his vocabulary continues to grow at an impressive rate. In picture books, he can identify the Zebras, Elephants, Birds, Hippos, Giraffes, Goats, Sheep, Cows.... even if he can't say their names very well yet. So there's good with the bad.

Friday Night was Summer Living - we went off to the Edina Pool as soon as I got home for work, met Isaac's friend Wyatt and his parents Nikki and Ryan, and splashed around in the pool for a few hours until the sun started to set. The pool has some fun older kid stuff too, which Ryan and I had to partake in - especially the zip-line: Holding onto a handle and zipping down a wire, you hit the end and are catapulted upwards and then crash into the water. We did it a few times... and Pamela said we looked completely mental. Mission accomplished.

Saturday Night was another Avengers Night, where we tried my special Ardbeg Import - the Corryvreckan limited edition. It was flat out mind blowing, and this is after a lineup with TWO 1967 Strathislas (one Sherry, one Grenache Casked) and the end of the venerable 25 year old Highland Park. It was a late night (Spiderman 3 is a long movie - but a much better one on the second viewing, I must confess), and there were a few cask strength drams on offer (100 proof rather than 84 proof as usual), so the morning came cruelly early to me, and I regretted asking for the sleep in Sat Am, when I could have been the one to sleep in today.... instead I'm operating on 5 hours sleep what with mister Isaac the early bird.

Should be a light week: I had two trips planned, but canned one due to a local conflict. At the end of the week, I am excited to visit my Alma Mater (Macalester) with Ty and Bailey who are considering its hallowed halls. Then it's off to Madison for a long weekend for the big Family Reunion at the lake, with the added fun of the Police concert!

In a less depressing vein

I saw Speed Racer last week and it was completely AWESOME in a turn-off-your-brain-and-lookit-the-colors sort of way.

It was like Cars, without having to trouble yourself with what sort of Apocalypse occurred to create all of the sentient vehicles leading to the extinction of their former human masters.

Out to lunch with the kiddies yesterday, I accidentally saw some sort of cartoon that is based on a "battle card" game - Sort of Pokemon-esque, but far more "Cyber". The bit I saw essentially involved two rivals sliding cards into their arm-blasters, summoning "Emerald Battle Pegasus", and "Sapphire Crystal Battle Dragon", while a crowd of friends and rivals watched in awe and horror at their audacious moves. But far from being dramatic, it was simply a recitation of procedures that made double deck solitaire sound exciting:

"Your Emerald Pegasus attack is doomed, for I now load up my Sapphire Crystal Dragon in Defense Mode, and I combine it with a second Sapphire Crystal dragon and a Crystal Fireball Defender, fusing them into Double Sapphire Crystal Fireball Defender Dragon!"

Onlookers: "WHA??? Oh no! His attack is doomed!"

"Your defense will not stand, for I combine the power to my Emerald Battle Pegasus with both the Rock Defender Turtle card AND the Crystal Phoenix sonic attack card" (and suddenly, a number appears in the bottom corner to assure the Asperger's viewers that this attack does in fact outnumber the defensive capability of the defender)

I have no idea how it all ended, but I suspect that in the end these shows will simply be a recitation of random dice throws and mad-libs style attack names Superlative+Mineral+Animal Name+Element.

I had to watch a Roadrunner to assure myself that there is still entertainment out there.

Robots and the End of the World

Two recent stories (and a lot of earlier ones I've read) have had to do with mankind's impending doom largely at its own hands, with Robots around to pick up the pieces: In Wall-E, it has to do with overconsumption, and Robots are our caretakers, and ultimately not so much our saviors as much as reminders of what's really important.

In Saturn's Children by Charles Stross, it is more of a mystery just why we died out, leaving an army of robots and barely inhabitable colonies on all of the planets of our solar system, partially terraformed: We wink out just as we're in mid-space age... but in this story, there are a lot of hints left behind that society had turned us into something not particularly NICE, and as more details come out about how the humans had used the sentient robots they had made, you're left with a bit of a "good riddance" feeling.

In both stories, these creatures we've made have somehow inherited more humanity than intended, and they're the carriers of our legacy.

In other stories I've read and seen, the arrival of sentience in a computer system leads to immediate destruction of our current way of life, either through the computer attacking us (Terminator, et al), or through a hyper-accelerated evolution leading to all of us being "uploaded" into a new consciousness (and the earth being dismantled for component parts for the great computer - called the Singularity - again, Stross, as well as Rudy Rucker).

It's interesting that there is so much pointing to the apocalypse, assisted by our technology... In Saturn's Children, it feels like a late Heinlein Romp (indeed, the racy cover and protagonist are clear nods to Heinlein's robot girl drama "Friday"), but gets deeper into examining the damage done when a society creates servants (or slaves) for their labor and leisure. Just as Wall-E's earthlings are unwitting prisoners to their leisure culture: Eventually, when you've got a thing with a brain and emotions catering to your every whim, you start to wonder, what's in it for the robot?

It just points to the fact that we do love our apocalypses, however they come. Nature's fury, alien attacks, Post Nuclear, Robot Uprising... and the newest genre - enslavement by leisure. I'm still very pro-technology, make no mistake, but I think I'd like to keep it pretty dumb and make my own sandwiches when I need them.

Prototype

Last weekend, I prototyped my Sandwich Trivet with the most dangerously susceptible hot sandwich: Egg in a Hole. Done properly, Egg in a Hole can be a crunchy delight. But leave it on a place and let that condensation build up, and you have a floppy hot egg thing.

The prototype involved a high-rimmed plate and several chopsticks laid across in parallel. The sandwich was made and placed on the sticks, and lo, as it cooled, it retained crispness. Plus it cooled evenly on both sides. Yes, the Trivet must be made.

By the way, I fully acknowledge that I am insane.

Home from Denver

The second day of meetings in Billings went well (i believe I shall return, and perhaps this time I'll actually see a river or something), then a quick lunch of a fantastic green chili smoked pork burrito. The table salsa was fiery hot - it was a delight. Then a flight to Denver. I keep forgetting that the "new" airport is so far out there (20 miles from town!), and I get wistful for the days of my youth when we'd fly into Stapleton and be at my Grandparent's within 5 minutes. Also, the rental company was clean out of everything but SUVs, so I was a big truckin' guy in my white 4x4.

I let Ms Garmin GPS guide me immediately to a spot that my boss frequents - Sushi Den. A line snaked around the block for tables. Apparently this place is frequented several times a week by Mike's dad, Don, and just mentioning his name is enough to get a table on the busiest night. I had rehearsed my explanation in Japanese, but didn't need it: there was an open slot for me at the Sushi bar, where I asked the chef Kenji to treat me to Omakase (oh-ma-KA-say) which means "feed me interesting things". So I had 4 rounds of stuff, all delicious. Next to me was an older gentleman from Cedar Rapids IA who had never had sushi before, so we struck up a friendly conversation and I gave him pointers on what to order, how to eat it, and he wound up loving it! Kenji-san was very politely patient with my japanese as well. A good evening.

The next morning, I had a simply terrible omelette in the Courtyard restaurant: The guy would cook up the eggs separately, THEN fold the dry egg cake over your desired (unheated) ingredients. It was like an egg taco. There was no reason for this. No reason at all. I had food jinx later too, as I had an unsatisfying pork dish at Las Delicias - a nearly legendary mexican restaurant in Denver... Apparently I was supposed to order a simple Chicken burrito with green chile sauce - any other order is madness. I wish I had known.

In the morning I dropped in on my Grandparents who were happy to see their eldest grandson: They kept insisting that I had somehow grown an inch or two recently (perhaps my posture has improved?). They were full of stories, and Grandpa was tracking everything very well (he's been in and out of lucidity recently, but he was 100% there for my visit, which was wonderful) Uncle John and cousin JJ also dropped by with the dogs (a Golden and a Golden Doodle) - I tell you, I thought they were happy to see me, but when those dogs walked in, they lit up twice as bright. They do love the dogs.

JJ was just back from a trip to Cooperstown and New York City, and was off to play some golf with a friend. He was proudly telling me that they played well against this team of 12 year olds from Houston: This team is the elite team in the 12-year old league, and parents have to pony up $40k per season per player to pay for the coaches. This struck me as some kind of madness, and happily everyone else thought it was nuts too.

Meetings in the afternoon into the evening, then drinks with the team: I resolved to never again complain about travel after spending time with Jose, a new hire, who has 3 kids at home (2, 4, 7) and a 10 hour each way commute from LA to Appleton every week. We need to keep him on the West Coast somehow. He was certainly not complaining - but perhaps it was because he bore it so stoically ("It's my job") that it affected me.

A 6:30am flight home today, some quick work in the office, and now I'm home while Bella is out splashing in the pool with neighbors, Isaac is napping, and Pamela is getting a tour of the State Capitol with some friends. It's good to be home.

Billlllllings

First off, I must say that every single person I've interacted with in the past 24 hours in Billings Montana has been wonderful: When I checked in at midnight last night, the clerk not only guided me in by phone (the area of the hotel is too new to be on GPS yet), but also chatted me up with talk about the Portal video game, and the observation that I have a laugh just like George McFly (Crispin Glover) in Back to the Future. From there, I've had coffee shop gals who just wanted to chat for a while, waitresses who were forthright in their recommendations, hospital secretaries who actually walked me 2 blocks to the right office instead of just telling me where to go....

Our meetings here in Billings are going very well: For a small town, they're actually very tech savvy and have big intentions that I think I can help them out with. Plus, they don't mind spending an hour just talking about the industry and trends and whatnot. Given that in Seattle, I'm pulling teeth to get 15 minutes, having 6 hours scheduled with all levels of management, plus a 3 hour dinner with two key decision makers (with way too many belly laughs to be reasonable), it could make me feel spoiled.

All that said, there are a few things I need to mention:

1) The billboard for "Scary Larry's" - Pawn Shop, 24 hour loans, Native American Crafts, and Adult Superstore. I'm wondering if I can maybe get an off-color dreamcatcher there.

2) The 10 foot high billboard with a lady realtor holding a fancy dressed poodle.

3) The fact that there are pawn shops on every block... it makes hocking things almost seem... normal...

4) Casinos Casinos Casinos. Every single place with a liquor license also purports to be a casino, of which there are around a million in this town. And they have such ritzy aspirations: "Monte Carlo", "Big Texas", "Attached to Old Chicago Pizza".

So another day of meetings tomorrow, then off to Denver! Wish me luck!

Holy Smokes

We have made it through quite the long weekend, people.

Friday the 4th, we got up good and early and Pamela went with a few other Moms to stake out primo seats for the Edina 4th of July parade. Us dads ambled up an hour later with the kids in tow (in my case, literally in tow: I dusted off the bike and hooked up the Burley). The 2 hr parade was a blast as usual, though I suspect some padding (there were a LOT of restored military vehicles in there, stinking things up with their manly exhausts). The marching bands all graced us with a "stop" in front of our seats to Isaac's delight. He also loved the NEIGHS, all the drummers, and the larger vehicles. He was no fan of the clowns (is anyone a fan of the clowns? Really?)

During the Parade, I found myself wanting some future technology: As the rafts of jeeps went by with aged veterans, I wished for a floating information balloon for each: A name and identity, which war, perhaps a link to a story or two. As it was, it was several dozen old men (and a few old ladies) without context... and I wanted more!

Friday evening the neighbors had an open BBQ, starting at 4. Two dozen kids and the same number of adults enjoying grilled food, crunchy snacks, and beer sweet beer. Knowing that there are some Scotch neophytes on the block, I brought a bottle of Strathisla 12 to share (a mild speyside with some great apricot tones). I had to leave around 8 to put Issac down, but when I retrieved the bottle Saturday AM, I found that it had been QUITE WELL ENJOYED. Apparently my name had been taken in vain a few times on Saturday AM by headache wielding adventurers. NOT MY FAULT, people.

We decided it was just too late for Bella to see fireworks, so we made do with one of the neighborhood dads lighting off a "Target Pack" of ground fireworks. Bella loved them, and slept well.

Saturday was another "play all day" affair for Bella, while Pamela worked furiously to get things ready for Mae's birthday in the evening: Yes, another all-neighborhood BBQ party. In the middle of the day, I decided to do the Bodystep routine in the backyard again: It was a hot and not very windy day, but I made it through alive.

The party was fun: The kid mob was even BIGGER this time, and while I did get Isaac down at a reasonable time, Pamela dragged Bella in AFTER 10 so we knew that Sunday would be quite the day.

Today we started late and slow, and didn't really get moving until much later in the day. There were a lot of shows watched (Tubbies, BooBah, Calliou, and other "mellow events"), and we all took naps at various points in the day. Then it was off to Grandma and Grandpa's for Steaks and a kiddie pool, where Bella and Isaac blew off what little steam they had left from the weekend... Carrie and Scott were there too, and it was great to get caught up on everyone's doings.

Despite the pure exhaustion, bedtime for the kiddies was a bit of a chore: Bella's mind wouldn't turn off until after 9, and Isaac got himself so overwrought that he up and puked. But all is finally quiet in the house and Pamela and I are catching up on the world.

The week coming up will be long: I'll be in Montana, but then a quick trip to Denver where I'll get to see my maternal Grandparents, who I haven't seen for over 3 years I think? But Pamela will be solo for 4 nights, so I'll be sending her positive vibes and will come back with hugs and foot massages for her.

A line is crossed

I have made my first Ebay Scotch purchase. My favorite distillery has been coming out with some limited edition bottlings that are simply not coming across the pond, and it's worked me up into such a frenzy that I was considering a daring weekend flight into and out of Edinburgh just to acquire them. Fortunately a kind soul had the bottles on the EBay for a not entirely outrageous price, and it was a lot cheaper than the flight. So they should arrive in a few weeks and we'll just see how this experiment goes. Chicken and Ant will flip their lids.

But having spent British Pounds on this hobby now, it seems undeniable that a line of some sort has been crossed, and that there is a new world of bottles available if only I can stand the exchange rate and Royal Mail.

In the opposite spectrum of health maintenance, it's time for the new releases of Bodypump and Bodystep, and time for me to start memorizing new moves. Pump fired up this week, and Step will be the week after next (which is good, since I'll be traveling next week!). Every time there's a new release, it totally busts my chops, since you grow to realize how much muscle memory you rely on - just changing a few moves can really throw off your muscles and you start to "feel" it all again. The new release has the Moby "Bourne Identity end credits" theme for the Abs: Great song makes up for a completely unreasonable move which I can't even describe here ("side plank with curl under" would be the technical term I think).

Poor little Isaac has had a rough couple of days: The construction across the street has been revving up at naptime, and yesterday there was a dumpster delivered, filled, and retrieved, and the poor kid only got a half hour in before waking up screaming from the noise. And he spent the day throwing things and yelling, before passing out with half of his usual dinner bottle, which led to THREE wake-ups in the night (up from ZERO for the past week!). So Pamela has set up a nap-zone in our sitting room, which seemed to work, though having got it all arranged, the workers decided to take the day off.

Finally, I spent the last 2 days in "strategic meetings" with the new company, and am perhaps a little frustrated that my total numbers are around the same as my first month - I'm not growing very fast... but we figured out I'm actually in the BEST position of the whole team, because I have 4 clients who are preparing for implementations (which is a wide open, multi-year opportunity), while everyone else is in mid to end-of-project state with their clients... so there's a very real possibility that by this time next year, I'll have the most business. So I just need to adjust my sights and set patience level to maximum...

With that, I'm REALLY off to Billings MT next week, and then to Denver for meetings. Happily I'll get a little time in there to visit with the Grandparents... which will be wonderful. I'll have stories. And no, I won't have time for fly fishing in Billings. Sorry.