W'happen?

I have suddenly realized that the reach of this blog often extends beyond the close friends and family who are my regular readers... and as such, have decided to remove a posting which contained forward looking statements which were not completely inked just yet.

So once the paper comes through, and more importantly, once an official communique comes out, THEN we'll clink the glasses.

Til then, you read NOTHING, and you tell NOONE about what you didn't read. It's our little secret, kapiche?

A fun night

Tonight I spoke at my old alma mater Macalester to a group of 25 alumni about my path from Mac to my current career. I was joined by 4 other amazing panelists, and we each spoke for around 10 minutes, and then did Q&A and schmoozed afterwards.

The goal of the stories was to tell these grads that it's ok not to know exactly what you want to do, that your liberal arts background sets you up for being able to assess a situation, and make more out of opportunities. We all had distinctly non-linear histories to tell.

The other people had great stories - one is a recent grad (04) who went right into consulting, but now works non-profit lobbying for better public transit options. Another (95) was a non-profiteer who 4 years ago decided to throw it all away, mortgage her house, and open a high-end baby/toddler clothes boutique, which is quite successful. Another (86) was a marketing assistant for 8 years before leaping into the world of food writing, and now he's a columnist for the Boston Globe and was on TV with America's Test Kitchen. And yet another (96) was a history major Academic, who thanks to taking a part time job in a non profit and having her boss quit the next day, learned about real estate development and financing, which she took to, and is now very high up in one of the biggest twin cities development firms.

I think we all brought different perspectives, and I found myself wanting to add more thoughts as each panelist added something new... but held back. I think we gave a very rich picture of the different ways people find their path in life. People seemed very appreciative.

It was very odd and wonderful to be at a point in life where I not only feel like I have a good career, but I have advice for others... advice they can use and that I wouldn't have minded hearing. One good question was whether we thought Mac should have done more to help us find that path. I responded that after coming out of Mac, it took 3 years for me to find something that I truly loved doing (programming), and that the most important thing Mac gave me was the skills to experiment and look critically at a situation, to maximize an opportunity.

I related that when I picked my major in Music, the department was very small - just a handful of music majors every year. So with a large staff and few majors, that meant the department was really my playground, and I could have access that you'd never get at a larger school that was more conservatory based. I took that "carpe department" philosophy to my subsequent jobs, and that's how I found my next job and the next and the next...

So it was great fun, and I appreciated being given the chance to speak. And I think there's a chance they'll invite me back. They're having two more panels in this vein - one for living in non-profit, and one for making a career in the creative field. I told the crowd I'd be back for both, referring to both my year at Citizens for a Better Environment, and my year working for Midi Music USA doing Karaoke backing tracks...

Now it's off to bed!

Yes, another week!

I'll try to do a more comprehensive update a little later, but here are some highlights.

- Today Isaac said "Banana" perfectly. Once. Also, we figured out he likes Ginger Snaps... a LOT! He walks backward now (not exclusively), and has been throwing lots of micro-tantrums when things aren't going exactly perfectly. We still like him, however. At this instant, he's dragging an easel that is exactly twice his height across the kitchen floor with great intent. He's a boy alright.

- The other night, Bella was obsessing about death. She said "I wish I was something that never dies - like the wind or air." That girl is a poet.

- Paul Sebastien and I are team writing music: I started with a little verse-chorus, he sent back some guitar, I added more structure... we've gone back and forth 4 times now, and this song is almost complete... Paul sent me a guitar riff, and that's forming the basis for another song too, which I sent him some tracks on. Basically we're trying to challenge each other to be creative. We've both enjoyed a book called The War of Art by Steven Pressfield - teaching you to really be purposeful in your creativity - to just go to work. So we're having a lot of fun.

More later - gotta go help a neighbor with some computer issues!

A the back of the week

Oof - a long week this was. With the water heater nonsense in the beginning, coming off a busy birthday weekend for Bella, a continuing poor sleeper in Isaac, and Bella waking up hollering two nights from growing pains in her legs... Not to mention a week of mild frustrations at work:

- I had thought I had everything engineered for a tidy "big bang" rollout of much of our remaining work in December and January - it would have been busy, but very do-able. Who puts the kibosh on this? The vendor. Nobody is available to take care part X of the project until February. Apparently they're hemorrhaging people after having been acquired by a bigger company.

- My kind and mild mannered boss looks about to be downsized (a big meeting will be on tuesday), which will leave my boss-ship adrift. Her only hope is to keep working until February, which is when she can retire with full benefits. Surely what is a couple of months in the context of a 40 year career? Truthfully, it's got me worried.

- The new opportunity, while not a full "offer" yet, is beginning to take shape (quite attractive shape at that), and if I could possibly be free of the client by February, that would be advantageous. With both of the above, I have my doubts... and I'd hate to burn a bridge.

- The diva doctors may be wearing on me: The place was abuzz this morning because the doctor on call last night missed his password 3 times and got locked out. A 2 minute call to the help desk would have reset it, but he refused - "that's not how I work". My other favorite doctor has taken to muttering about needing a sledgehammer whenever he walks near the new workstation.

- The "missed requirement" I spoke about last week is still missing, and the vendor has decided to put fingers in their ears and say "lalala", even to my clever idea. So my only real option is to tell the doctors they need to change. Please see the above anecdote for an indication of how well that will work.

Ok that's worklife. Homelife: Both Bella AND Isaac got shots today - they had their 5 and 1 year checkups respectively, and Pamela was stuck in the doctor's office for 2 hours. Bella got completely freaked out about the shots, hiding under a chair pleading with Pamela. Isaac was just Isaac. They're both sore tonight, and motrin is a good thing. The doctor was full of brass tacks comments about just putting in earplugs and letting Isaac cry it out in the night. In truth, he's not eating that much - one is a diaper change, and one is a cuddle usually.

A not very busy weekend is on tap and I'm thrilled. I actually plan to be in bed by 9pm tonight.

Hot Water.

YES. The water heater was installed. All is well in our world. Apparently the old one was in GRIEVOUS condition, and we're lucky it didn't just drop its entire water load at once. It's good to have fresh, well running appliances.

I say again: We have hot water. I took a shower with the kids. It was delightful. Also, we can use the dishwasher and clothes washer too. Life is grand.

Other updates:
We're discovering that the secret to Isaac eating grownup food is to give him whatever we're eating, and let him walk with it. Tonight, he wandered around, eating most of a large pork potsticker. He'd pause after a bite, and squeal with delight.

The trick may be to see if he'll eat anything TWICE. Tonight he rejected the Sweet and Sour chicken that he loved the other night. Hmmm.

I took the morning off of work and took Bella and Isaac to school, playing with Bella in class (it was "parenting day"). It was VERY fun, and there was over an hour of "parent education" where we all sat at a table and talked about strategies for the kids...

Tonight, out of the blue, Bella asked about German: How to say some things in it, and why is it different from English? She was pretty game to try some new words... I am so proud of that girl! Also she wanted to what is England? That was fun.

Off to a relatively early bed now. Wish me luck.

Update and what was I thinking?

Well, still no hot water: Turns out the way our water heater was put in was just fine for 16 years ago, but code has changed, and one must not install water heaters in such a manner. We went around and around on the possibilities, and it turns out my only option is an ELECTRIC water heater. Which entailed me calling an electrician (who confided he too had to put in an Electric due to code too... and it works), having new circuits wired, and a slightly more expensive heater unit, but far less in construction costs (at one point we were looking at 4+ hours just to drill a new set of vents into our very sturdy walls....

Hopefully this adventure will be over by tomorrow. I've always said humans are 3 days of hot water away from complete savagery. I am approaching this state.

In the meantime, MaeMae graciously let us take showers at her place tonight, and we're feeling fresh as daisies. Pamela hadn't showered since Sunday... and I was extra ready for a wash because...

Tuesdays are double-workout-days. Yes, every Tuesday you'll find me up at the crack of dawn for my 6am BodyPump class. This morning was beautiful: I saw the stars on the way in, and the sunrise on the way out. Then off to the hospital for a 7:30 cardiologist conference... a typical workday, then home to pick up Bella to go to the 5:15 BodyJam, and then off to a father-daughter date.

Bella still doesn't want to DANCE at Jam, but she loves watching me, and gives me thumbs-up or thumbs-down depending on my moves. So far it's all thumbs up, thankfully. I think my study sessions with the DVDs paid off - I was feeling much more confident in the moves. Then it was off to Chipotle for a burrito... and then we crashed the "pre-opening" night of the new ultramegasupertarget out by Southdale, with rows and rows of untouched merch.

But when I do the double workout, this dog gets TIRED. It's a lot of work. And with Isaac still not sleeping so well, I'm functioning on <5 hours still. I know I know - why am I blogging and not fast asleep right now? Good point. But I'm ravenous and need to finish this bagel.

And Isaac

He likes Depeche Mode. He was dancing to Everything Counts tonight. He says "DANCE" too now.

Good kid.

Menacing Signs.

1) I've posted before about the iPod count at the house... and I've posted that two have mysteriously died recently, one quite possibly from a drool overdose... most likely parties - either myself or Isaac. The police have been over every square inch of the joint and I tell you they can't prove NOTHIN.

So we got the new iPod for Bella. And Isaac noticed it.

Yesterday during Bella's big family bash, Isaac somehow eluded the attention of all 15 adults in attendance and made a move. I was standing in the kitchen and heard what I could best describe as a maniacal laugh from upstairs. I moseyed on up to take a look and found Isaac:

Alone. In his room, with Bella's new Ipod in his hand, LAUGHING.

He had snuck upstairs and stolen his sister's iPod the moment he had an opportunity, and absconded back to his room with the loot. He must have had this caper planned down to the nanosecond.

2) An unrelated event (I'd like to believe): I got a panicky call at 11:30 this morning. The water heater decided to give way and our basement was flooded. . Fortunately, Papabam were still here, as was Ana (our cleaning helper) and Randy, the federal agent neighbor (thank YOU Columbus Day), so I could finish my meeting before heading home...

It's a 50 gallon water heater. That's a lot of water, and it took the collective intelligence a while to figure out the following data: You need to shut off the water intake, or the water just keeps on going. You need to empty the water heater or it'll keep on leaking. You need to purge the pipes, or you'll accidentally send another gallon on through. These are all lessons we learned gradually, but they are lessons I shall not soon forget.

Turns out the unit has been running since 1991, so 16 years is not too bad for a water heater. We'll be getting a new one tomorrow morning, so showers will be had by tomorrow night. I'll be skimming right on the edge of social acceptability. I'll be walking in a cloud of cologne.

The event got me thinking: One really never goes SHOPPING for a water heater, or a furnace. When these things die, you call somebody reputable (hopefully NOT just the guy who takes out the 1/4 page ad 'AAA-AAA-AAAAA Dependable Furnace' at the top of the yellow pages listing)and say "NEW ONE NOW" - or maybe "NEW ONE NOW PLEASE". One doesn't spend a lot of time perusing the Consumer Reports on brands... nor does one wait for a sale. No, this is quite the impulse purchase. Only in this case, it is the impulse to survive.

Life just keeps on going... interestingly.

More geekyness

1) One of the workouts I love at Time Out is BodyJam, which I've written about (just two posts back I believe). At Time Out, when a new class comes around every quarter, they usually do a hybrid - a shorter program (40 min versus 60), and they hold over a track or two from previous sessions, so that the class doesn't feel lost.

Of course, the instructor has to switch CDs to make it work... So one of the things I like to do is rip the CDs, and assemble a custom mix for them.

This time, I actually took the CDs home, and I noticed that the INSTRUCTOR DVDs were in there too... So I took a peek at the lessons that teach our instructors. And I just got so excited! It was fun to see the teaching points, and also to see the dance moves being done by a whole room full of people who know the moves... it helped me re-visualize the steps, and I think that if I can make the class Tuesday evening, I might just be able to Krump Jump a little better!

2) Technology is currently in full rebellion in my house: Two iPods have died in the past month: One of old age, and one from being sucked on by Isaac. So Bella officially had no music going for bedtime. I picked up the cheapest new iPod for her, and was amazed at the state of the art: The new Nano is ridiculously small, with an amazing screen, and the new menues.... I was stunned by how great the new ones are! And when you recycle a dead ipod, they give you a decent discount.

Now, I use Audiofy Bookchips for my language learning: These are SD chips with encrypted audio, which requires me to use my Palm Pilot... or a computer. Since it's encrypted, they're not simple files I can put on the Ipod.

Anyway, just in the past week, my 2-year old Palm Pilot has started to get ornery: It spontaneously reboots, it's unresponsive to the touch... it's starting to die. So now that's 3 audio players going south in a month... plus the hard drive crash last month (which I did recover from, thanks for the cards and letters)...

AND I should mention that the XBox360 I got for the Loesches died as well within a few days, and I had to return it and get another. I'm telling you, I have crazy technomojo. I give off mad electrons.

Kids getting bigger!

Papabam and Lilli are here for the weekend: Bella is turning Five tomorrow: It's just so wild to think that our big girl is, well, a big girl. We gave her some presents last night, and she was awestruck to be the recipient of some American Girl merch: the doll she picked is Kaya, a Native American. When she opened it, she stood with her mouth open, making a gentle high pitched "eeeeeeeeee" - it was a pure expression of amazement.

She has been playing with the new dolls in a VERY serious, very involved manner. She also got a horse, which is very big, but in relation to the American Girl doll, it's a good half-size, but with a saddle, so there's something sort of comic about this very realistic horse with a HUGE girl on top of it. Her sense of possession of these dolls led to her getting into a bit of a tiff with Lilli, who Bella thought used her horse without asking...

Today we went to an apple orchard, which was a mixed experience: It was a bit of a zoo out there, and Bella got overheated and was a bit crabby. I bailed a little early with a sleepy and crabby Isaac. Fortunately all we needed was a good old fashioned burrito to help Bella find her mood.

Tomorrow is her big Birthday party: 3 friends for the afternoon, and family in the evening. Pamela has gone ALL OUT to create a "Tree Party" per Bella's request. We even cut down a "junk tree" (one of those that grow like crazy and need to be cut back every year) from the back yard and we now have a forest in our living room.

Isaac had another rough few nights - it looks like he's cutting two teeth at once, AND he had his fever too... but today it looks like he's turned the corner and his mood was vastly improved. Tonight he grabbed a big piece of fried sweet and sour chicken (no sauce), and chomped the whole thing down while strolling around the kitchen. He is a walking eater. Bama tried to give him a second piece, but first cut it in half... he rejected it flat out. I handed him a whole piece, and he ate quite a bit of it. We're learning what that creature will eat and how.

I'm encouraged that he WILL eat things - he just completely rejects "being fed", and "having food prepped for him". So I'll just have to give him whole pieces of food and watch that he doesn't choke...

Last night, Isaac got a hold of a frito, which he loved. Lilli tried to offer him a piece of bread, and he held out the frito like a magic wand, and barked "DAAAAA!!!" as if ward off the advancement of the bread. He turned on his heel and sprinted to the next room, where the frito was consumed.

PS - working out

I haven't given you a food OR workout update for months.

1) I'm now working out 3 times a week: 2 weights, one step. The club has created 3 days of 6am classes for me, and I'm singlehandedly shaming people into sticking with the program.... or they'll cancel the classes! We need a minimum average of 7 per class per day, and we're usually at 9-12, so we're doing GREAT. Step started up 3 weeks ago, and I've gone for two of the weeks... I love doing cardio in the AM - it just gets me PUMPED UP for the day!

This week, going to Jam with Bella at 5pm was hard because I'd already done a 6am weights class... I was almost asleep by 8, but toughed it out to 10. So yes, that means 4 workouts this week.

Should I mention that most of my pants are loose these days, with my boxers barely staying up? It's not bad skinny (the weight has gone into muscle in other parts of the body), it's trimness. Also, I can jump like 15 feet straight up into the air.

2) I have a new favorite lunch spot downtown: Harry's is on Washington Ave near the Guthrie, and it's cheffed by the former chef of Levain. It's American Bar Food done with artistic perfection. Every single french fry is perfect. The burger is a symphony of spice and hearty flavor. The decor is high-ceilinged class with a good warmth. It's 6 blocks from work, so I get a little walk in each way, perfect for a Pimsleur.

My other love is Cosi in the IDS, where the salty flatbread forms the basis for very fresh tasting sandwiches. I love a hummus with cucumber and tomato sandwich with a side of tomato basil soup... or a wasabi and ginger roast beef...

Downtown is fabulous.

Plus ça change....

One of my famous "numbered updates" today:

1) Isaac has a fever and has been sleepygrumpysweet all day. We've got him on drugs for pain and fever, and he doesn't have much of an appetite. He's been trying to play as usual, but has had to fall back to cuddling far more than is his wont. We are both sad for him, and thrilled to have a snugglebear in the house. Also, another tooth has cut through... oh that poor boy. It's good that memory doesn't stick at that age - we'd never hear the end of the "oh the pain" stories.

2) Bella and I went to BodyJam last night... but she again abstained from dancing. She told me she's happy watching me dance, and doesn't want everyone to see how she dances. I said that's just fine, but she shouldn't worry about how she looks - after all, look at ME dancing! She smiled... and said we could try again next week. Afterward, we got quiche from Patrick's.

That girl will rarely eat an egg, leaves the crust behind on pizza, and won't eat anything green - even Jello. But put her in front of a Patrick's spinach quiche, and you'd better pull the plate away when she's done or she'll take a bite right out of it. She's completely MAD for those quiches. Add it to Burritos and Tacos in the "Bella eats strange things" storybook.

3) So no sooner do things get mellower at work with the departure of my officemate, but things have gotten sticky: Turns out that around 1 year ago, a good 8 months before I entered the picture, a VERY key requirement was quietly dropped by the project manager, and somehow made it through the full contract negotiations and the purchase before someone figured out it was missing.

And this is not a minor requirement: It would require many hours of data mapping and some not insignificant changes to the software. And it's not in the contract, so the Vendor does not have to deliver it. And the affected docs are aghast at the discovery and are talking about pulling the software entirely.

Fortunately or not, my geekiness has kicked in, and I'm trying to pave a middle road - understanding that the vendor is not obligated, I'm offering a third path - a more minor modification that will get the job done, with most of the cross mapping to be done by yours truly. I think that my design is pretty straightforward, and it shouldn't be too hard....

But the Vendor is dragging their heels, not saying yes, and I'm pretty concerned that if they don't get on board, it's game OVER for them... though due to the contract, we'd be out a good 40% of the not insignificant purchase price. Well, I can lay out a path, recommend it, advocate for it... but if they won't meet us halfway, I don't know what I can do.

The doctors are truly happy to have me advocating for them by the way: The heads of Cardiology and the Cath Lab got me alone and asked "where did you come from? You're the best thing that's ever happened to IT over here" - The grumpiest doctors are now smiling and waving at me in the halls, and we have lots of laughs...

Indeed, I'm having a good time with this gig, but boy, it's NOT EASY some days/weeks/months. Stay tuned on this one.

Isaac has a game

Little 1 year old Isaac has invented a game: He has a small soft ball with a bell inside. He picks it up, and throws it one way, runs to pick it up, turns around, and throws it the other direction. He's spent over a half hour running back and forth across the kitchen chasing that ball, giggling madly.

It's pretty remarkable self-entertainment, really.

A fine Birthday

My sweet Pamela turned 29L today... I gave her a full night of sleep (covering Isaac duty), and bringing in breakfast. We had a fun little evening tonight - an impromptu dinner party with 7 grownup guests and 5 kids for Bella to play with. Lots of laughter and great food (brought in from D'amico).

I gave Pamela a series of "coupons" to help her recharge given that Isaac and Bella can be quite intense: 6 coupons for "uninterrupted sleep" - putting me on full night duty. 6 coupons for "sleeping in" for 2 hours after the kiddos are up. 6 coupons to "disappear" during a weekend day or weeknight - no questions asked.

She thought those were maybe the best gifts EVER. Of course, we're still working on getting her out to Miraval too - now it'll be in December.

Anyway, just a quick update to say Happy Birthday Googy - and bring some lighthearted news to the Blog!

A crazy end to a story

You may have read about my trials and tribulations of having an office mate... from posts 4 weeks ago LINK. Well, things have finally resolved themselves, and I have my office back to myself.

Now, this person is a temp, employed by the vendor to move data from our old system to the new one. Not a great job, but not too bad. In terms of where she fit "on the team", she didn't: She had one small job to do. But she made a lot of fuss doing it.

Yesterday, we decided to move her to another office, after she made a series of frankly bizarre statements about people "looking at her funny", "criticizing her" and one person "gazing deep into her eyes". After checking in with the people identified, most had no idea who she was, and none remembered any major interactions. So we got a picture that reality was a pretty malleable object for her. But her work wasn't too bad - we were prepared to keep working with her, just give us a little space.

Well, apparently moving her wasn't going to work for her: She complained to the depatment director that it was "just for Jim's benefit - why should HE get what he wants?", and that "Jim has it in for me - he's always criticizing me", and the best "he cracks his knuckles because he knows it disgusts me".

Believe me, while I was none to happy about sharing an office, I was always civil. Where I would tune out would be after hearing a long story about, oh say, making meatballs for her ex, who still lives with her, because he's middle eastern and women take care of their men - it's what they expect, and do I think that Dr X (of Syrian descent) is a Christian? Because those middle eastern Christians are an odd bunch.... and so on. As I said in the earlier post, my monosyllabic grunts grew more noncommittal as time passed. And she never commented about my knuckles, so I really had no idea.

What sparked the whole thing was that I was checking her work and discovered a full month of missing data, and asked her about it. That was it. Suddenly she was asking people (including people who are not even in the department or on the project) about my role and why am I looking at contracts and why am I checking her work...

The problem is, of course, that I am the project manager and AM responsible for everything. So checking up IS my job. And she seemed to forget that. Over and over again. See, she had once had a class in "project management" and she KNEW that project managers don't look at contracts, and they don't look at details - they just manage timelines. So I wasn't doing my job. Right.

Between the insubordination, the theories about my personal motives, the inappropriate discussions, the nonstop blather, and many other things I can barely care to remember, it came time today for her to go.

She was walked out mid-afternoon, and I spent a good long while in my office enjoying the silence.

I have to say, it is DEEPLY disconcerting to be faced with what I believe was true mental illness - she had very deep paranoid tendencies, and every story had her as a victim of some sort... she was eternally "wronged" in life... and I'm sure I'll be a good villain in her next narratives.

So that's over. And I feel a great weight lifted: I think that being in that energy field was affecting me. So it's time to move on.

More Mark-isms.

A couple more Mark-isms that popped into my mind:

- "Can I axe you a quextion?" or "It's not set in conCREEK". These were two linguistic gaffes from previous co-workers that we kept going with for many many years.

- "Why you all up in my Kool-Aid when you don't even know what FLAVOR?" - this complete non-sequiteur came from a brief bit of time when Mark was doing training for Wells Fargo someplace in California. This was NOT a good gig, and the people he trained were prone to outbursts like the above.

- Back at ValueRx, we had a bit of a goose problem, and our route into the building was constantly littered with goose poop. Mark had a tendency to find the smeariest, most "liquid" poop, and would stop with a concerned look and say "I hope that little guy is going to be OK...". Somehow EVERY SINGLE DAY he would find another sample, and make the same grave diagnosis.

- "With my FINGERS!!!!" - we had a co-worker who was testing a program with mocked-up data. We were asking what his SOURCE was for the fake data - namely, how was he sure his fake data would represent real-world situations. He wasn't understanding our question, and in response to the query "But HOW are you getting the data?" he shouted, exasperated, "WITH MY FINGERS!!!!" with a wild eyed look and wiggling his fingers. Since then, it was our shorthand for "he is missing the point".

Those were the ones that popped to mind this AM! Boy I miss that guy. Post your own in the comments and I'll assemble them into another post if you want!

Going visiting

Allright, another Mark post...

My friends in the videogame industry have been coming through for Mark's family: My buddy at Disney sent along a dozen movies and 8 Wii games, and even a few Playstation games too... it was an amazingly generous package that the family couldn't believe. And my friend Caesar at Microsoft is putting together a package of games for the XBox 360 - including Halo3...

Well, they didn't have a 360, and I do remember Mark talking about how much he wanted to get one... and it was on his list for Christmas. So I just decided to pick one up for them - since there would be games coming... and Max SOOOOO wanted one.

I brought it by tonight, and I kept it quiet for a good 20 minutes while I played with Eve, and checked in with the rest of the kids. We had a really nice time, talking and laughing - lots of goofing around. Then I brought out the box, and Max almost fell over, so we had to hook it up immediately. I should point out that I did clear it with Samantha beforehand, so it was cool by her.

Max was fully planning to bring the manual in to school to show all of his friends. He was so crazy excited! But at the same time, he kept the conversations going too, not disappearing into the game. I found out how school is going, and related my relevant stories about German, and the horrors of Sadie Hawkins dances, which made Chloe laugh. We talked about robotics classes, and I bragged about Tyler's prowess at both programming AND making with the ladies in his genius move of writing a program to ask out a girl. (I will note: Chloe is into robots and German. And that just makes my heart glad)

It was a really nice visit, but as I got ready to leave, my heart just fell, because I realized that for just a moment, without really setting out to do so, I was being a dad, holding Eve who was getting sleepy, offering guidance to the kids, helping Samantha with computer stuff... and just being there.

It made me realize that while I did bring them a gadget that they will enjoy, the more important thing I brought was company, and laughter, and love.

As I left I suddenly wanted to stay - to keep being there for them, to fill that void in their lives. And it made me sad for Mark all over again. I had a good long hug before going out... and I'll be back again, because I love that family, and want to do whatever I can do to help.

Bella Quote

Tonight, I was walking to the car with Bella. I sniffed the air and said "I smell something good: someone's frying chicken!"

Bella took a deep sniff and said "I smell something even BETTER".

"What's that?" I asked?

"A fresh summer breeze."

That girl is just too sweet.

Moving on....

I'm glad that this site has helped people remember Mark... he was a good man, and we are all missing him. That said, I need to "warn" people that this blog typically examines my normal geeky life, and so the tone will likely change back to my own ruminations about life... I hope people don't mind.

Here we go.

Last night I started reading a memory training book by Harry Lorrayne. It gives you memory tips of a few different types, creating links between items to help remember a list, and creating absurd "sounds like" tips for remembering words. One exercise is to remember the 50 states in alphabetical order... something I've never been able to do. Now after just one evening, I can do it front to back. How? I made up a story:

I was looking through a photo album (alabama) and wondered who one of the people was, so I had to ask (alaska), when the album rose up (arizona) in a tornado (arkansas). I had to call a forensic scientist (california) who colored (colorado) in the dots he had to connect (connecticut). He stood and said "I declare!" (delaware) when he saw an alligator (florida) chasing George Washington (georgia), who paused to say "Hi" (hawaii) to a hooker (Idaho) who got sick (illinois) on an indian (indiana) who was holding an IOU (Iowa) he was going to give to Dorothy (Kansas) for some (Kentucky) Whiskey she bought in New Orleans (Louisiana). Drunkenly, he shouted "Remember the Maine!", and the Virgin Mary (maryland) appeared in church mass (massachusetts). Freaked out he jumped into his american car (michigan), drove through Minnesota, across the Mississippi, and nearly missed my eye (missouri) as he pointed out the mountains (montana). On the radio was bruce springsteen (nebraska) singing about one-armed bandits (nevada) whch had presidential candidates (new hampshire) and Tony Soprano (New jersey) instead of fruits in the windows...

Suddenly a ufo flew overhead (New Mexico) driven by the Statue of Liberty (New York) who shouted GO NORTH and find Caroline! (North carolina), and our friend's dog Dakota barked (North Dakota). We got to starbucks filled with Japanese people shouting "Ohio Gozarimas!", and on the TV was Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, where Ruprecht shouted "Oklahoma!!!". Then Ruprecht turned to a computer and played Oregon Trail, but the wagon train turned into a real train leaving from Penn Station (Pennsylvania), but it couldn't reach the Island (rhode island), so we had to take the UFO, and the statue yelled "GO SOUTH and find CAROLINE!" (south carolina), and Dakota barked again (south dakota).

A truck rolled by that said "Follow me to Tennessee, dolly dolly dolly", and it was as big as Texas. It was driven by a mormon with 8 wives (Utah) and filled with Maple syrup (Vermont). One of the wives was still a virgin (Virginia), and that lecherous George Washington showed up again and chased that virgin west (west virginia) across Wisconsin to Wyoming.

OK - that's just crazy, and what's important is that each idea links to the next... and you don't need to say the story, just have a quick image, and it brings up the linkage. And of course, there are tons of personal references (the dolly dolly dolly was a toy truck my dad got from a transportation client in the 1980s, for example) And it WORKS.

I'm pretty excited to see how this develops. I did start using a similar technique to remember some harder Russian words last week: I couldn't remember "From Here", and built up "I bought my Matsuda sunglasses here" - "atsuda". Others are easier - "prichitat" is to read - and I read Terry Pratchett, so that association was automatic.

Ok - that's my geek update for the day. Welcome back to JimVentions.

Quite the Vigil

Some of Mark's friends and neighbors decided that the senselessness of his passing demanded a vigil of sorts - something so that the community can register their support and outrage at what happened. Catherine, a very organized person, decided to get the ball rolling, and came up with the general idea: Walk from near Mark's house, across the freeway, to the spot he died, and have a candlelight vigil.

Catherine asked if I could help, but in the middle of everything, I felt as though the organization wasn't something I could take on. So she turned to the neighborhood watch, and the city council, and the media... In truth, she got the ball started, and then it took on its own velocity, well beyond Catherine's designing... but she deserves all of the credit for pulling it together.

As we approached the park today, we were overwhelmed - a full city block full of people ready to show support. As we started walking, the procession was at least 4 full city blocks of people walking right down the street... I'm guessing a thousand people participated, but I'm a lousy estimator. Could have been 500. Could have been 750. It was well over a dozen, I tell you.

At the yard where Mark was found, people piled flowers, and someone had set up lawn chairs for the family to sit on. Samantha was still not ready to emerge, but Chloe, Annabel, and most of the extended family were all there... and as the sun set, we all stood with candles. Well, many did. I was chasing Isaac through some yards for a while. Bella helped out by chasing him like a border collie. She was such a trouper...

The family was still not ready to talk to the press, so the family asked me to speak to the press for them. I was plopped in front of some TV cameras and asked some questions:

Why do I think so many people came out? Some came because they're angry at the senselessness of this crime and want to show that they won't take it. Many more came because they knew and loved Mark - so many of his friends and colleagues.

Do I think it's important that they catch who did this? If they had asked a week ago, I would have said no because I all I cared about was the loss of my friend. But today, I don't have a thirst for vengeance, but I want whoever did this to know how much he has hurt all of us, and I want him to be accountable.

We'll see how I come across...

Unfortunately while being interviewed, I missed the councilmembers and the mayor's speeches from a half block up (the speaker truck couldn't make it up the street, so they stayed at the end of the block). Actually, that was ok: I preferred to be in that yard, with that simple memorial, with the family.

On my way back to the car, I stopped into the house, and gave Samantha a big hug: Max was engrossed in a zombie game, Annabel had a friend over, Chloe had run out with some pals, and Eve was asleep... Life almost looked normal for a moment.

And in a few days when things start getting even quieter... that's when it's going to get unbearable for them. And we're going to have to make an extra effort to be there for them.