On Business Dress

As I reviewed my blog entries, I was reminded of my proudest accolade when I was pronounced the Third Best Dressed Customer at the coffee shop at a client. Such days of sartorial elegance are perhaps behind me, but it did get me thinking about business dress.

Back at Ameridata in the early 1990s, it was a very formal shop. This was the computer configurator and reseller that later got rolled into GE and hasn't existed as such for over 10 years, so I have no problem with using their name. Anyway, this was a shirt and tie shop. Not a suit shop... that would be too fancy (only the VP wore those), but a pressed shirt, trousers, and a tie were required. No matter whatsoever that we never were customer facing, and that we were even off of the main campus (relocated to a beyond industrial space above a ceramics factory, that interestingly my friend Tony worked at years later).

And the average age of the workers there was mid-40s, so they'd been doing this uniform for a while. I was 25 - a fresh faced kid of the 80s and I didn't really GET the formality. But I obeyed: They paid my salary.

Fridays were Casual... and I always tried to keep it reasonable - still a button down, but perhaps jeans. But I remember one coder, a pear shaped creature named Phil. Phil was in his 50's, coasting toward retirement. You could give Phil a coding task and be assured it'd be done in about 2 weeks. No matter what you asked him to do. 2 weeks. Change a field name. Didn't matter. Phil had some of the most awkward expressions I ever heard, simultaneously crude AND nonsensical. When something went well, he say it was like "Sh*t through a tin horn". I still can't really get anything positive out of that visual. There was an office-wide modification "Smooth as poop through a horn", which really didn't make it any better. He had a few of those.

Anyway, Phil was probably the reason we didn't have casual days after a while. He just didn't get casual, and his attempts were as horrifying as his turns of phrase (and frankly, his coding too). Every Friday he'd come in with his dress slacks (usually tan), a white sleeveless T, underneath an XXL novelty T that was draped over him like a Mumu. They varied from "JESUS IS AWESOME" to "WORLDS BEST GRANDDAD" to "DON'T TELL ME, BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A SH*T". Casual days went from weekly, to one day a month, and eventually they went away.

As before, I was young, I didn't get business dress all that well... and I had a couple of gaffes in my days that caused an inordinate amount of office teasing. One day I forgot a belt. I swear, EVERY SINGLE person in that office chuckled and pointed it out. A few put their fingers through my belt loops and gave a tug, pulling me over. It was as though I had wet myself or something. But that couldn't compare to the day (long after casual day had been revoked) when...

I forgot my tie.

Oh my god. The VP (Ed) walked by, stopped, backed up, gave a look, then walked away. 2 minutes later, my manager called me into his office and let me know there was a problem with my attire... I asked if he wanted me to go home and get a tie? Oh no no no no,.... it's not that serious. But don't let it happen again - it's not PROFESSIONAL. Which led to another day where EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the office stopped by my cube to take a look at "MISTER CASUAL DAY".

And I mean, we're talking about a 15 person IT shop, tucked above a ceramics factory. And we shared space with the CALL CENTER, who wore shorts and T-shirts to work. It was amazing... that this culture just EXISTED like this. I don't think anyone would have noticed if we were all naked as long as the system kept running... But we had our rules.

Prior to that, I worked in the worst place on earth, where we were sub-sub-subcontracting out the writing of telephone billing software (Chronicled in Corporate Tales of Woe Part 1 ) 6 people, tie mandatory. Prior to THAT, was the best place on earth - my apprenticeship in dad's basement (best coffee of any gig I ever worked).

After Amerdata, there was one more "formal" shop I went to for a year, before the walls crumbled, valkyries shrieked from the skies, and business casual became the norm, around 1996. My tie collection officially stopped at that point.

From 1997 to 2008, the only time I wore a tie was for a first interview, and there were a few where I didn't even do THAT. It was only when I entered the sales force in 2008 that I broke down and updated my tie, suit, and sportcoat collection... And now I'm back in consulting. But oddly, the Tie is sticking this time: When I go out to Jersey, our company has decided to wear suits to project an "image" (a lot of these guys came from big 6-5-4 firms, and the suit is a uniform). I don't mind... but the dry cleaning bills get a bit old.

With the new gig in Philly, they say dress like your boss, which I am unfortunately too closely: We have a few similar pieces of clothing, and just the other day we were having a meeting, both wearing khaki pants, a dark shirt, and a brown/white houndtooth check sportcoat. He wears the coat once a week... but I haven't figured out which day reliably, so I think I have to take it out of rotation or something. But the rule is shirt and tie, or shirt and coat, no tie. Coat and Tie are possible, but in no way required. The only catch is if it's a day I'm also visiting Jersey, I gotta work the Suit back into the mix. Oh, it's impossible to pack. IMPOSSIBLE I tell you.

The downside to this scheme is that for weeks the weather has been muggy and in the 80s-90s. you don't wear a sport coat in that... you carry a sportcoat. And a tie is just closing off a route of ventilation. I imagine that when the heat breaks and fall comes around, I won't mind it one bit. I might even update my look a little.

Perhaps I might qualify for best dressed visitor to the Philly hospital coffee shop? Shouldn't be too hard - most of them wear scrubs anyway. Doctors. Always running around in scrubs. Not very Professional.