Oh I hate being the keeper of a secret. Especially the kind I had to have since Friday when our Gang of Four conspired to change the project. It really wears on me to interact with people who will know in a few days or minutes that I have kept things from them. It makes me feel like they have reason to suspect my truthfulness in non-secret-keeping intervals.
In short, when there's stuff like this, it affects me, which I really try not to have my work do as a rule. I am usually very good at leaving work there, and coming home, but at times with this big project, it has been stowing away in my trunk and sneaking in, waking me up at 4am with ridiculous worries about project plan updates. And this restructuring was a big stresser.
The good news is that the project WAS restructured, but that we were able to reasonably salvage and re-order things to the point that really nobody is out of work, and nobody has wasted their time... and the clients are supportive. It all went public today, and I wound up almost collapsing once I got home, the air let out of the bubble.
I promised myself that the stress of the past week will not hold, that I am allowed to recover, and that from tomorrow on, my shields are back up and this is just work again.
And let's admit it - that whole reunion thing - that was a bit of an emotional trip too, and that's probably been a contributing factor for stress and exhaustion. I might also be a bit tired in that I did work out for the first time in a week, and it was at a 6am class... Nah, that's probably not it.
"The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long... and you have shone so very bright, Roy" - Eldon Tyrell
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